Watch The Act of Coming Out | The New Yorker Documentary

[Man] Everything is set up.

[Interviewer] Yeah? Alright, cool.

[Man] And then I can slate for you.

[Interviewer] Yeah great.

Alright, let’s get started.


First I want to tell you a little

about what we’re going to do here.

So getting out seems like this endless process

and that is the purpose of this hearing.

What I want is for you as an actor to interpret this

and perform the act of going out.

Oh oh. [giggles]



Like, coming out or am I coming from this side?

Like going out? [laughs]

I am sorry.


Uh, I need to talk to you about something.


I am bisexual.

Bisexual, and I’m damn happy about that.

I’m a man because I say I am

and it doesn’t matter whether you think I look like one or not.

It’s great, you know, to own that?

You gotta scream that, you gotta scream that.

I’m gay.

Come on lesbians.

Come on lesbians, let’s go!

[Interviewer] Do you have any questions for me?

Why did you want to create this?

[Interviewer] What about a typical coming out scene?

What do you think of that?

[Interviewer] Of course, let’s try. OK.

So who would it be…

Who is the best person I should be?

[Interviewer] Probably my mother. OK.


people when they get old,

sometimes they realize things about themselves

and they are a bit afraid to tell others about it.

It doesn’t matter, I promise.

i will say something

and I don’t know if you suspected it

and I don’t know how you’re going to feel about it.

Which is good, I’m not really expecting you

to understand well

but I just want you to try.

I tried to help her.

I tried to help you help her.

[sighs] It’s tough, okay.

I’m free.

I’m free!

No mama, your judgement, you can save

but I am free now and nothing holds me back.

And I like to be called

him and him

and I want to be called your son.

I don’t want to be called your daughter

Because I am not.

[Hailey] Can we talk?

[Interviewer] Yeah.

I have something to tell you

and I’ve been thinking about it for a while

But I never found the right time to say something

and I just want you to know.

It’s stupid but I… it’s important

so if you could just listen for a second.

I, uh…

I like girls.

Are you going to say anything?

If you want, if you don’t want, I understand.

If you don’t wanna talk about it, it’s a lot to take

and that’s why I moved to California, to be myself

without the judgment and I really feel like

I held that part of you and I love you so much

and you are my mother, but I can’t

go another year without being honest

with you.

[Interviewer] How did she react in real life?

She didn’t, she doesn’t know in real life.

[Interviewer] What would be the ideal reaction?

But do you still love me?

I love you.

I tell you all the time, you are my rock.

You are what gets me out of bed in the morning.

Baby, I always knew.

You were the captain of the basketball team.

I knew [laughs] and I want you to be happy.

Are you happy?

You know, your generation is different.

I like that, I like your generation.

You say it’s me, it’s me.

It’s not me, it’s not me.

We had to survive.

We couldn’t think, that’s it,

call me they, call me her.

We didn’t have time.

You others, you think, you say it.

It’s too much, it’s too much.

But I will say they, I will say they.

You are my child first

and I love you

whatever you want to be called.

It’s difficult, that’s for sure.

[Interviewer] Yeah. Yeah.

I don’t want to get emotional, but-

[Interviewer] Sorry?

I don’t want to get emotional, but I feel it.

I apologize in advance.

No, it’s extremely moving, this…



I mean, I never came out to my dad and then he died.

so, you know, that’s what partially…


[Interviewer] Yeah.

It’s hard.

It’s hard.

So I don’t know what the next steps are

but we can understand it together.

it’s gonna take me some time,

I could mess up,

but I will work on it.

[Alexandra] That’s all I could ask for.

Nothing can take you away from me.


Thank you for telling me.

I know it was probably very difficult.

We’ll figure out how to tell your dad.

[laughs] Yeah.



Yeah, sure, baby.

[Interviewer] Yeah, that was awesome.

Do it again, do it on camera.

[Interviewer] Just on camera? Yeah.

Cool, the expressions too?

[Interviewer] Yeah yeah. Yes? Cool.

[Man] Everything is set up.

[Interviewer] Yeah? Alright, cool.

[Man] We’ll record and then I can offer you.

[Interviewer] Yeah great.

Alright, let’s get started.


[laughs] Can I laugh, can I laugh?

Cool [laughs]


[breathes heavily]

[growls and yells repeatedly]

[continues breathing heavily]


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